It's too warm to think of a title

We're on the mend in this house - thank goodness! We managed to make it through Will's horrific stomach flu just in time to pull off a lovely baby shower for my wonderful girlfriend, Colby, at our house on Saturday. Rick (a day after lasik eye surgery) took the boys and dogs over to his brother's home for the day, so it was a special treat for the ladies (well, at least this one in particular). As much as I love the kids, I couldn't have been happier to take a time out for a tasty brunch with some wonderful women without worrying about who was getting into what. And my amazing gal pals even picked up! Now if I could only get the boys to be better about that...

Nate's been saying and doing a lot of funny things lately. I've been wanting to get on here so I can share them without forgetting. For one, we joined some fun friends at their community pool yesterday and were debating if we should bring some booze. While we were considering if booze would be appropriate or not, Nate had gone into his play room and had come out with one of his favorite die cast cars from the movie Cars named Boost. He's said, "I got Boost, Mom and Dad!". So, the matter was settled. We brought the car and left the "booze" at home.

Nate was having so much fun with his friend, Dylan, later that night, he wet his pants and kicked them off, along with his shoes, without interrupting the shooting video game they were "playing" in the arcade at the pizza joint we went to with our friends for dinner. I think it's the first time he's wet his pants in public and he didn't have a care in the world. He was just shooting away with his little red plastic gun in a t-shirt and monster truck briefs.

Too bad my brain's too pooped to think of the other things at this point. I've been working hard on getting us squared away for our family cruise to Alaska in July. I'm pretty much set for getting the boys their passports (I know - to Alaska? but it's pretty much a requirement on the cruise lines these days). When I went to get Rick's and my passport from their special spot today, they weren't there. I'm either sweating because I'm nervous about where they might be or because it's hot as heck in our house. It's been 90 plus degrees lately! My worst fear is that they were taken by someone on the moving crew or a cleaning person. I wouldn't be surprised if passport's are a hot sale so near the border. I'm so flighty sometimes, I would think it was me, but 1. Rick and I have never used our passports at the same time so they've never been out of the drawer at the same time, 2. our expired passports were still there, 3. we've always kept our passports in this same location, and 4. we both searched the house (and Rick, his office) high and low with no luck. Though I'm a bit peeved we haven't found them, it was a great excuse to clear out a lot of papers I needed to go through.

Back to the kids. Lately, I've been annoying myself with my nagging at Nate (particularly) and Will. It becomes a cycle at times where we're just continuously nagging at each other. It takes a lot of energy and up-beat enthusiasm to break the circle. Sometimes I feel too plain tired to make the effort. Even though I'm irritating myself by saying "don't do that", "no", and "treat each other kindly" (constantly), I often find myself taking the lazy road. I could use a little help to hop on top of the great mom pony. Maybe a week at a spa would rejuvenate me. In fact, I do have a couple gift certificates to put to use and a sitter for a date night this Saturday. Hurray!

A Hodgepodge

Poor Will's still battling his terrible flu. I took him to the emergency room Saturday (for 6 long hours) and they gave him an IV to rehydrate him and anti-nausea medicine that works like a miracle with vomiting. Unfortunately, it has no effect on the other end. We're both pretty tired of it all at this point, though, I can't complain. At least I'm not dealing with a raw bottom, endless diarrhea, and legs shaking from exhaustion. Most importantly, the rest of us have not (yet - fingers crossed) gotten sick.

Nate's regressing on his toilet training. Yesterday he had three or four accidents. At first I thought he might have a urinary tract infection. He'd been so good before. Now, I think it may be linked to Will getting all the attention with his illness. Nate hasn't had any accidents at school, or anywhere away of the house, since his backslide. He's even been staying dry at night.

I was within inches of really letting it rip on Nate last night. I know it's not fair and I have truly been unable to give him the attention he deserves the last several days. This flu's been all-consuming and I cannot wait for little Will to get better.

Rick's been my only relief, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled to have some down time once he gets home, not to take on diarrhea diaper duty so I can get away for errands. It feels like we're living parallel lives at this point, we're so busy trying to be the best at work and with the kids. We need to reconnect with some great dates where we can actually laugh and have fun together.

Rick's having laser eye surgery on Friday and because the doctor's in San Diego, I won't be able to be with him. He'll stay the night at his parent's down there and his mom will take him to the surgery. Makes my throat hurt a little thinking what a big deal this is for him and I won't be able to support him. It's just one more thing we're doing separately these days.

Nate just came downstairs and peed all over the tile. Patience. Patience. Do I put a diaper on his butt? Should I spank it first? Put him in his room? I've been trying to do the right thing by talking to him about being a big boy, having him clean it up and change, and we even "practiced" last night. Obviously those things aren't working. I'm really close to losing my mind.

On a happier note, my parents sent Will a balloon bouquet (Will's a balloon fanatic) which has really brightened his last couple days (he's helping push keys and move the mouse while I type - I can't say it's been really helpful). And they sent me a tulip bouquet and chocolates yesterday. Thank goodness for moms and dads. If only my kids can say that some day. I could cry (I'm a bit emotional right now) thinking about my parent's devotion and love for us and how whole-heartedly I love them. I would do anything for them and I only wish we could live closer. Times like these are easier to swallow when you have the support of family and friends.

Speaking of friends, my wonderful girlfriends, Kimberly and Colby, each made us dinners the last couple nights. They are amazing women, each juggling as much or more than me, and they made an extraordinary effort to make my life easier. Thank you, ladies! They allowed me time to have my hair done and to run errands last night, and eased Rick's burden of feeding the kids while I was out.

Today my sister, Natalie, finds out is she's going to have a boy or girl. Even though I'd be equally thrilled with either, I still can hardly wait to get the news. Nate's certain it's a boy. He points at her tummy and says "there's a baby boy in there." We'll see if he's right. No matter how rough it gets, there are always wonderful things to look forward to.

Travel, Dentist, Vomit and More Vomit

We are back home after a wonderful and extended trip to Washington to see my family and friends. Nate, Will & I flew alone for the first (& 2nd) time, and amazingly, all went fairly well. Other than a tremendous tantrum from Will before getting on the plane when leaving Orange County, the boys were remarkably well-behaved.

The tantrum was a doozy, and I believe it was large enough that it filled our travel quota for the trip. Twice Will kicked off both his shoes & socks (a first!) he was flailing so violently, throwing himself to the ground, melting out of my arms . . . he was sweating through his shirt, a snotty sheen covering his face and tears dripping off his chin. For the life of me, I could not find out what was wrong. Will's not the one who typically throws such a tantrum and this one was a spectacle. People literally gathered in a half circle around us (we were on the ground by the line at McDonald's in the terminal). A lady, probably close to 80 years old, gave us fries to try. Will is a renowned snacker, but the fries didn't even phase him. The fit lasted probably 20 minutes. I was trying to put on the loving, concerned, but not-too-much-of-a-push-over-mom-show. I'm sure there were people taking notes on my poor parenting and obnoxious child, but I hope, and believe, some moms were cheering me on and were impressed by my external calm and composure. I'm pretty sure people were paying the airline staff to not sit with us. Thankfully, the clouds parted and Will was flying high by the time the plane took off.

The trip was great and Will only got two ear infections, a green snotty nose & wheezing lungs. Nate chimed in with all of the above, except he only had one ear infection. We postponed our return flight by a couple days so the antibiotics could kick in, and thankfully, the boys didn't seem to be in pain on the plane.

Today, the boys, me, and our babysitter, Jordan (as a second helping hand), went to the dentist. Will's teething something awful, so they didn't bother examining him. However, they managed to find $750 worth of work on me (cheap compared to the $3000 we paid for my teeth a few months ago - ??? the hygienist said the pregnancies are to blame - I'd rather be paying $4000 on a perky pair of breasts and a tight little tummy). Nate said he wanted to have his teeth cleaned and he was excellent while the hygienist polished away on those pearly little things. Jordan took Will for a walk while I got my x-rays. Nate refused to go. I think he was afraid of what was going to happen to me. He told me "don't do it, Mommy", but I smiled away because aren't x-rays fun?! Eventually he relaxed and got a kick out of the pictures of my teeth.

You would think that, and then a wild lunch at Chuck-E-Cheese with our new friends Heidi and Dylan would have been enough for today. However, Will's little tummy had a different idea. He started holding his tummy and then getting diarrhea at C-E-C. He wouldn't even eat a piece of desert pizza (huh?). He woke not long after he went down for his nap and vomited his formula all over his bed and both pillows. Ever since, it's been a constant flow of watery goods out the back and yummy yums out the front. If something goes in, it immediately comes out. Today included more snuggling from Will than I've gotten out of him his entire life.

That reminds me of a funny moment, not long after his initial throw-up. I've had issues in the past with fainting and having seizures when I've randomly gotten hurt in the past years. It's called a Cardiogenic Syncope, yada yada. Anyway, after getting Will cleaned up and his sheets off his bed, I was carrying Will on my hip into the bathroom to get disinfecting wipes out from under the sink (they work great for cleaning off the plastic mattress protectors in times like these). I tried to use my foot to open the cupboard when somehow I slipped and scrapped up my chin on the corner of the cupboard door. Hard. I immediately started sweating and seeing spots, so I got down on the floor and lay on my back as quickly as I could. If I can get blood to my brain quickly, I can stop myself from fainting. Last thing I needed was to pass out while standing and holding a sick little Will. I cold-sweated for a while on the ground and forced happy talk out of myself to Nate, who was wondering why I was lying on the bathroom floor, and Will, who was cuddling fetal-style on my chest and stomach. I, as I often find myself, was again thinking "I can't believe this is happening to me". My life is filled with many strange and funny moments. I just cannot imagine these things happening to other people. I started to chuckle thinking about our situation. Then Will ripped a few "man" farts. The poor boy, his tummy was so upset, and I started belly-laughing. I felt bad for Will, who was serious and really not feeling well. What kind of mom laughs at her sick child's farts? Later, Nate was laughing at Will's farts and I told him, "Be nice to your brother. He's not feeling well and it's not funny."

On another note, I was mowing the lawn yesterday because it had grown quite long while we were on vacation. I was pushing the mower through a tight area and got stuck by a nasty spike on a palm tree/plant thing. The place were I was poked looked like a small volcano, minus lava. It still hurts like a son-of-a-gun. It's like a bad tetanus shot. Go figure. Oh, and I also forgot to mention I just sat back down after changing Will's clothes, fitted sheet, and crib pads that were covering his bed because the poor guy vomited all over them. He's already back to sleep. I just couldn't love that sick little baby more.

Off we go into the wild blue yonder . . .

I just wanted to give a quick update as we're heading for Washington State tomorrow to visit my side of the family. This will be the first time I fly alone with the boys. The flight's about two hours and forty-five minutes long and let's hope it's an uneventful and very quick few hours. On one of our last flights Will cried for maybe an hour and finally passed out in Rick's arms in the galley at the back of the plane. We found out this week that Will needs tubes for his ears. His surgery's scheduled on the 25th of this month - hopefully his ears don't fail us now when I'm hoping for them to be on their best behavior.

I made a Target run and picked up small puzzles, a sticker book, a couple small monster trucks, planes and matchbox cars and I'm going to bring a slew of treats that would be on our no-go list for any other occasion. It'll be like we're celebrating a birthday in the friendly skies.

Nate's been a superstar toilet trainer. He hasn't had an accident for a few days and he's doing well at night. The last two mornings I've woken up to hearing him using the bathroom and his bed's been dry. Hallelujah! I can hardly believe we survived, and fairly unscathed. And here I nearly gave up at the start of it all, and remember? I even dropped my first two f bombs in front of the kids (not pretty). Now that seems long past and we're on the road heading for whatever hurdle decides to pop up next. Probably Will's bottle hitting the door. Sorry Will! I'll wait for after his tube surgery for that one.

We often ask Nate if he's cute and he always replies "no". This last couple times I've asked him if he's handsome and he's said "no", as well. When I ask what he is, he says "lucky". It's a very random and cute thing. I hope he is lucky because who wouldn't want to be that? Hopefully we'll have some of that luck on our flight tomorrow.

Would you like whine with that new language?

Today started out on a sour note. I'm never sure if I'm in a bad/impatient mood and it spreads to the boys or if they're in bad moods and it spreads to me. However it comes about, it seems, if someone is in the dumps, there's no way to stop that stink from spreading throughout the house. It is in times like these I have to dig really deep to muster enough strength to be the one who brings positivity, happiness, and the good vibes back around. I'm the grown up so I have to force myself to act like one. Admittedly, I do feel like talking smack to the boys, and being stubborn and a big baby myself. It takes an embarrassingly large amount of self discipline for me to take the high road. If things aren't going my way, sure, I want to whine and throw tantrums, too. However, I'm on a tantrum strike. We've got enough of those going on around here.

Nate's been going through an awful spell of whining. There's a lot of fake crying going on around here and why all of a sudden does he want me to carry him everywhere? My first thought is that if he's whining to get his way maybe he thinks that works for him and if he continues to whine, he'll continue to get his way. However, as loving as I'd hope to be, I find myself being a kind of blunt, no-nonsense, kind of an "a-hole" and impatient mom. I'm not the type to give in to whining. In fact, the sound puts a knot in my stomach. I just cannot stand it. At all.

I've been telling Nate "when you stop whining I'll be able to understand you" and "use your words to tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help you" and some "I know you're not a baby, so you shouldn't need to act like one to get your way"s thrown in there, too. Not really working. When he wants to be carried around (which is okay on occasion, but give the old arms a break!) I've been telling him "I know you're a big boy. Why don't we just hold hands while we walk." I'm hoping these nice little sentences will help because inside I want to scream my head off. Sorry to unload, but it's better typing than verbally hearing myself whine!

Let's talk nicely about Nate now because he was a great boy at the park tonight. Rick often takes the boys on a bike ride at night while I get dinner ready. As I mentioned before, Rick's out of town. So, I thought it'd be nice to take the boys on a ride after dinner (trim those thighs, girl!), and eventually we ended up back at the park near our house.

There was a 2 year old girl playing at the park with her dad and the boys were infatuated with her (making her cry a couple times from trying to hug her and hold her hands). Nate was so darned cute with her. He tried asking her name to which her dad noted she doesn't speak English. They seemed to be of Middle Eastern decent and their dialect had a lot of fun sound to it. Nate introduced himself and tried to shake her hand as he said "nice to meet you" (proud mom!). When she didn't respond to him, Nate seemed to understand what the dad was saying about her not understanding English because he started "talking" to her in her language. I thought I was going to die laughing, though I sucked it up as much as I could because I didn't want to offend the man and his daughter. Nate would inquire to the little girl "Dop bog?" or "Pap gab?" or something to the sort, which mimicked the sounds of the language the father would speak to the daughter. Nate was completely serious and waiting for answers from the little girl. I was just beside myself. Actually, I still am.

Loving Will and the Natertot

The boys just went to sleep. Rick had to fly to Portland for a couple days and is driving up to my see my parent's and our family paper mill to learn about some of the machines the mill uses. He's covering a company that sells equipment comparable to the equipment Grays Harbor Paper uses. Anyhoo, it's just me right now, enjoying the dark and quiet.

I got a little emotional putting the boys down tonight. Will, in particular. Whenever we give Will a bottle (which we still do before nap and bedtime) he giggles with joy. He runs up on his bed, flops on his back and reaches for the good stuff. I'm going to feel bad taking it away, which I'll do soon. He was quiet for a while after having his bottle in bed tonight but eventually started fussing. His gums are so swollen, and his voice so nasaly, I think he's just having a hard time getting to sleep with a sore mouth. So after a while of the fussing, I went in and gave him a kiss and hug and laid him back down. Usually that's it, but he grabbed me by the back of the neck (with real force) and pulled me down so I had to lie next to him on the bed. He got a good chuckle at his success, kind of like when he gets his bottle. I'm another soothing method for him, I suppose. I don't spend a lot of snuggle-time with the kids, which is one of my downfalls, so I decided to give the little guy what he needed: extra love from his mom.

Will was snuggled up beside me and would look back at me every 20 seconds or so and giggle a litttle more. He was just so happy I was there with him. It makes my eyes a little watery thinking about how sweet he is and how lucky we are to have him as our son. If things would have worked out like we planned, little Will wouldn't have been here, or at least not for a few years after we had Nate. I never hoped or expected to be pregnant while nursing a 3 month old baby. I cannot say enough how thankful I am that our little "accident" occured. He's my mini-me and every time I look at him he pulls my heart strings. He has the world's biggest smile and he's always quick to laugh and to wave hello and good-bye to strangers. I couldn't love the little guy more or be more proud to be his mom. (note to self: read this when I'm upset/stressed/pulling my hair out)

Nate's been trying really hard with his potty training. I feel bad that he had a couple accidents today because he was trying so hard. One accident came after we were watching Nanny 911 (our first time watching it together and it worked out to be a good show for talking about behavior issues and resolution together), and the little girl was being potty trained on the show. Of course, Nate was very excited and hoped up and said he had to pee pee, too. Off he ran to the bathroom (literally). He was taking a while so I went to check on him. Unfortunately, he couldn't get his pants down because his belt was too tight and had an accident and was trying to clean up. Poor kiddo! The other accident came after we got home from the post office this afternoon (always a thrill with a one and two year old) and I undid Nate's seatbelts, left his door open, and went to get Will out as I always do. I thought Nate was exploring at the neighbor's or hiding somewhere, but he actually ran so quickly to the house I hadn't seen him pass me. He was standing on the front mat with wet pants. Darn! We'll get this down sometime soon.

Unfortunately, our washing machine is on the fritz. It won't flush the water out after the rinse cycle, so there's about a foot or so of water in the washer. This IS NOT A GOOD TIME to have the washer break down. Talk about a pile of pee clothes stinking up the laundry room! I'm going to have to hose them down (not to mention Nate's sheets and comforter because he had an accident last night).

The boys and I will be flying up to Washington on our own next week. Call me crazy. I figure it may be a flight from hell (if Will screams for an hour or two as he has on a couple flights), but as long as we're on the plane, we'll end up in Seattle. I think I better start trialing sleepy-time meds to sedate our wild ones. "Wild Bill" as Nate & Rick call Will. Time for me to get to the dishes. Good night!